Kelley's Birthday

Today is my sister's birthday. Happy birthday, Kelley! There is something deeply offensive about your younger sister having another birthday because somehow SHE gets older and I apparently remain exactly the same age. This is basic sibling mathematics. Look it up. Birthdays are weird little mile markers anyway. They make you think about where everyone was five years ago, ten years ago, twenty years ago, and suddenly you're mentally flipping through family photographs, 

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