Reschedule

I need to reschedule my psychiatrist appointment because I specifically wanted to do it in person and I’m still in SLO. The funny thing is I’m not even sure how much I care about the appointment anymore. Part of the reason I wanted it was because I felt this need to prove everybody wrong about the bipolar diagnosis, like I was preparing for a courtroom drama where I would dramatically slam a folder onto a desk and yell, “EXHIBIT A!” But at this point, who cares? Maybe I go, maybe we talk about it, maybe I get another opinion and maybe I learn something useful. But I’m getting tired of feeling like I have to build a legal case about myself. A diagnosis is supposed to help explain something and guide treatment. It isn’t supposed to become an identity I have to either defend or defeat. Maybe the better question isn’t “Can I prove them wrong?” Maybe it’s “Is any of this actually helping me?” That seems like a much better reason to make an appointment.

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