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After all the back and forth with Brian about The Music Man, I still don’t have a contract in front of me. At this point, I think I may literally write the damn thing myself today just so everything we’ve discussed is actually put down on paper and there’s no confusion later. What’s making me particularly nervous is that now there seems to be some backtracking over The Mikado set and budget—things that were already discussed, agreed upon, and included when I signed my contrac

Day two of the Great Cellular Data Mystery. My phone continues to proudly display LTE as though it has accomplished something. It has not. Everything still says Verizon, SafeLink says my balance is fine, and my phone continues behaving like mobile data is a theoretical concept rather than something I actually possess. At some point you realize you have crossed over from troubleshooting into simply pressing things and hoping one of them performs a miracle. No miracle yet. The

Today’s thrilling theatrical adventure was replaced by something even more dramatic: trying to get my damn phone to work. My SafeLink data suddenly decided it was done participating in my life. The phone says LTE. It says Verizon. My balance is good. I didn’t change anything. And yet every time I try to actually use the internet, Safari basically throws its hands in the air and tells me the server stopped responding. Nothing makes you realize how dependent you are on your pho

It’s funny how quickly my brain moves on to the next thing. Oliver! still feels incredibly recent, The Mikado is actively being built, and somehow I’m already thinking about what comes after all of that. I’ve been having conversations about theater availability for 2027. At the same time, The Music Man situation has continued to occupy a huge amount of space in my head. I really do want to direct this show, which is what made all the negotiating so difficult in the first plac

The older I get, the more I realize that a meaningful life isn't measured by how perfectly everything worked out. It's measured by the people we loved, the chances we took, the things we created, and the moments when we were brave enough to begin again. #LiveYourDream #CreativeHealing #ThisIsMyStory #Theater #Musicals #ToxicPeople #StrippedAMemior #MentalHealthMatters #FromStageToPage #HealingThroughArt #VulnerablyBold #Depression #Manipulation #Bipolar #BreakingTheStigma #

Sometimes we hold onto people, places, and memories because letting go feels like admitting they didn't matter. But letting go doesn't erase what something meant to you. It simply means you're finally willing to carry the memory instead of the weight. #LiveYourDream #CreativeHealing #ThisIsMyStory #Theater #Musicals #ToxicPeople #StrippedAMemior #MentalHealthMatters #FromStageToPage #HealingThroughArt #VulnerablyBold #Depression #Manipulation #Bipolar #BreakingTheStigma #Thea

Sometimes we hold onto people, places, and memories because letting go feels like admitting they didn't matter. But letting go doesn't erase what something meant to you. It simply means you're finally willing to carry the memory instead of the weight. #LiveYourDream #CreativeHealing #ThisIsMyStory #Theater #Musicals #ToxicPeople #StrippedAMemior #MentalHealthMatters #FromStageToPage #HealingThroughArt #VulnerablyBold #Depression #Manipulation #Bipolar #BreakingTheStigma #Th

I’ve been going back and forth about The Music Man more than I ever expected. I was originally offered an amount that I felt seriously undervalued what I was being asked to do as both director and set designer, so I countered. That number was declined, and the offer was raised by $1,000 instead. Now I’m sitting here wondering what to do because, creatively, I really want this show. There’s definitely some FOMO involved because I know exactly what I could do with The Music Man

There’s definitely a lot going on here in Arizona, and I’m really glad I came. Crew keeps asking me what my name is, which is kind of hilarious, and apparently I need to keep reminding him who I am! It’s also so great to see Melissa and Beady doing so well. I’ve missed being around everyone, and sometimes you don’t realize how much you needed to see people until you’re actually there. And on a very important note, I absolutely cannot wait for some Lou Malnati’s pizza. Priorit

One of the strangest parts of getting older is realizing how many versions of yourself you've already been. Some you miss, some you barely recognize, and some you fought incredibly hard to become. Every one of them got you here. #LiveYourDream #CreativeHealing #ThisIsMyStory #Theater #Musicals #ToxicPeople #StrippedAMemior #MentalHealthMatters #FromStageToPage #HealingThroughArt #VulnerablyBold #Depression #Manipulation #Bipolar #BreakingTheStigma #TheaterAndTherapy

ROAD TRIP. Today I'm driving to Arizona to see Melissa, because apparently after complaining that I can't sleep in San Diego, the logical solution is to drive several hours into the desert. Arizona has temperatures that make you wonder if you've accidentally driven directly into the sun. Melissa has been one of those people who has seen me through some very strange chapters of my life, and there's something comforting about visiting someone who already knows the backstory. N

3:00 A.M. Wide awake. WHY? I swear I cannot sleep properly when I'm in San Diego. Put me somewhere else and eventually my body figures it out. Put me in San Diego and apparently my internal clock becomes a 24-hour Denny's. OPEN ALL NIGHT! My eyes opened at three this morning and my brain immediately said, "Oh good, you're awake. Would you like to review every decision you've made since 1997?" No, Brain. "Great! Let's begin." I don't know what it is about being back here. Mayb

Today is my sister's birthday. Happy birthday, Kelley! There is something deeply offensive about your younger sister having another birthday because somehow SHE gets older and I apparently remain exactly the same age. This is basic sibling mathematics. Look it up. Birthdays are weird little mile markers anyway. They make you think about where everyone was five years ago, ten years ago, twenty years ago, and suddenly you're mentally flipping through family photographs, .#Live

There are certain shows that are just permanently stitched into your DNA. For me, Beauty and the Beast isn't just a musical. It's basically a family member at this point. A slightly dysfunctional family member who owns a fog machine and has very strong opinions about enchanted flatware. It was my first professional job on Broadway at the Palace Theatre, which still sounds completely insane when I actually type it. Of all the shows I could have started with, I started with Dis

I need to reschedule my psychiatrist appointment because I specifically wanted to do it in person and I’m still in SLO. The funny thing is I’m not even sure how much I care about the appointment anymore. Part of the reason I wanted it was because I felt this need to prove everybody wrong about the bipolar diagnosis, like I was preparing for a courtroom drama where I would dramatically slam a folder onto a desk and yell, “EXHIBIT A!” But at this point, who cares? Maybe I go, m

I had one of those strange little full circle theater moments at Matilda. An actress named Kitty Balay from PCPA came up to me and asked, “Are you Erik Austin?” I said yes while my brain immediately started searching its filing cabinets trying to figure out what was happening. The funny part is that I actually took classes from Kitty when I was in high school, which was approximately a zillion years ago, so the idea that she would recognize me now was definitely not on my bin

My stomach has been absolutely killing me, and I’m pretty sure stress has officially moved in, unpacked its bags and changed its mailing address to somewhere directly below my rib cage. It needs to stop. Most of it is still coming from all the financial stuff surrounding Oliver! and trying to figure out money while also navigating friendships, which is a combination I highly recommend to absolutely no one. Then throw the whole SeaWorld situation on top of it and apparently my

My solution to recovering from producing Oliver! is apparently to immediately start designing another enormous show. Welcome to The Mikado. Today my world became cherry blossoms, giant fans, rock walls, bridges, platforms, fountains and a twelve foot red gate. There is also a fifty foot wide scenic border because apparently subtlety has left the building. I have spent an alarming amount of time thinking about the proper proportions of decorative fans, which is a sentence I ne

Today I jumped in the car at 7:00 in the morning and drove five hours to SLO to see some friends in Matilda, because apparently that seemed like a perfectly reasonable Sunday morning activity. My friend Jon was playing Miss Trunchbull, and Sherry could not understand why Trunchbull was being played by a man. I knew it was a tradition with the show, but then she kept asking why, and suddenly I realized I didn’t actually know why. So of course I had to look it up and explain th

Well, I couldn’t stand it. I went back to the casino. Remember that lovely little story where I went, won big, came home happy and said the smartest thing I could possibly do was NOT go back and lose it all? Apparently I don’t take advice from myself. I went back and managed to lose almost all of my winnings. Almost. At least I bought myself a few gifts before I decided to personally return my winnings to the casino. I guess technically it was free money anyway, so I’m not re