Clinical Trial

Erik Austin
Jul 2
1 min read

So… I responded to an ad for a clinical trial about bipolar disorder. I’m not really sure what it involves or exactly what it does — and that’s a little scary, to be honest.

When I told my new therapist, John, he asked me about it, but I didn’t really have the answers — and I won’t until I actually go and find out more. What I did share with him were my feelings about my current psychiatrist, who’s changed my diagnosis and meds so many times it’s hard to keep track.

Honestly, I don’t believe I’m bipolar at all, and that’s a big part of why I’m pursuing this trial and the new evaluation. It’s frustrating — especially when those decisions are made after a quick 15-minute chat. It doesn’t feel personal or thoughtful, just like guesswork.

So John sent a new referral to Kaiser for me to get evaluated by someone else. I also really want to get off these meds, and I’m hoping this trial — along with a fresh set of eyes — might finally give me some real clarity.

That’s where I’m at right now. Nervous, but hopeful. We’ll see what happens.