Last Appointment

It’s been about three months since I missed my last psychologist appointment, and lately I keep wondering if I should call and schedule another one.

Part of me can’t see the point. I haven’t been on the meds for so long now that it feels like… what would we even be adjusting? Another part of me knows that’s probably not how this works.

My depression levels have been off the charts since the beginning of November, but I also keep telling myself that makes sense. The show ended. I lost my therapist until January. I lost my job at SeaWorld. That’s a lot of endings all at once. Anyone would feel knocked sideways by that.

So I’m stuck in this in-between space of is this situational or is this something I should be getting help with again? I don’t really know. I just know I’ve been feeling heavier than usual, and questioning whether white-knuckling it is actually helping or just familiar.

No big conclusion here. Just thinking out loud and trying to decide what the next right step is.